LETTER FOR EMPLOYMENT

My address is not necessary.

Your address really bore me.

Hi Sir/madam,

LETTER FOR EMPLOYMENT AS CEO

Eheh, I’m wasting my ink to write to your little and pathetic company to apply for the post of the CEO. In fact, I’m applying to unseat your overall boss – someone must go for someone to come.

I completed Agbaa Dzen Naa Creche and Nursery School in 80 B.C and graduated in crawling colours – straight F’s in all my subjects and big A’s in peeping under the skirts of my female teachers and farting.

I’ve got heavy hands to slap any son of a bitch who dare oppose me, and a sharp tongue to rain insults on anyone who comment on the size of my head.

Also, I’m sexually potent to satisfy, sexually, all the single female staff in the company, so as to ensure intrinsic motivation.

I want forty (40) Gigabytes of fufu and “aponkyekrakra” with sixty (60) kilobytes of “panin de panin” every Friday.

I prefer an office with at least three (3) air conditioners, a tennis court, a 62” inch Plasma TV, a bathhouse, a gold-embroidered water closet, a high density mattress and seven (7) female “office assistants”. And listen to this caveat – I don’t want to see anything that looks like work in my office.

I hope my application would merit positive consideration. If you reject it or use it as a loo paper, I don’t give a foco! Fank you.

Your future CEO,

I’ve forgotten my name